Pak Jokes

A frog telephoned the psychic hot line and was told, “you are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog said, “That’s great! will I meet her at a party, or what?”

“No,” said the psychic, “next term…in her biology class.”

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?“

The bartender confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any grapes?”

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell,

“Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!”

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ”Got any nails?“
Confused, the bartenders says no.

”Good!” says the duck, “Got any grapes?”

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer by who’d seen everything remarked: “That’s very tolerant of you after what he just did.”

“Not really,” came the reply. “I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him.”

Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot) Ud raha tha full speed par.

Uske saamne achanak full speed mein ek Ferrari aa rahi thi, dono ki takkar hui…

Totaa behosh hoga ya, raste mein ek bhikari tha usne Totaa ko uthaya aur ghar le gaya.

Usko marham lagaya aur pinjare mein rakh diya.

Jab Totaa ko hosh aaya, usne apne aap ko pinjare mein dekha.

Aur bola, “Aalia … JAIL …. Woh Ferrari ka driver mar gaya kya ??

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day…

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:

“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

After returning back from a foreign trip, Sardar asked his wife, do I look like a foreigner?

Wife : No! Why?

Sardar : In London a lady asked me are you a foreigner?