Pak Jokes

After returning back from a foreign trip, Sardar asked his wife, do I look like a foreigner?

Wife : No! Why?

Sardar : In London a lady asked me are you a foreigner?

“Aaj Tak” gets news that 100 Sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive.

The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:

Correspondent : How did this happen?

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

He says, “Hey, you shit your pants?”

Santa says, “No.”

He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.

He then says, “Are you sure you did not shit your pants?”

Santa says, “Yes, I am sure.”

They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse.

He then says, “Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?”

Santa replies, “I thought you meant today!”

Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.

On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day?

He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”

Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.

On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day?

He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

Sardar says, “I want my $20 million.”

The man replied, “No, Sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 days.”

Sardar said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”

Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 days.

Sardar furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! if you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!”

One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar.

His Tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.

Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.

Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900.

Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this.

Finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost.

Our Sardar asked whether he will give two.

Sardar to his friends : For the past one week a girl is disturbing me.

I don’t know how she got my number, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says,

“Please recharge your balance soon.”

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin and said, “For best results put on two coats.”

Zail Singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.

Rajiv : How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh : Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.

Rajiv : Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh : Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.

Rajiv : OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?

Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.

“Is this one one one one?”, says the voice.

Santa said, “No, this is eleven eleven.”

“Are you sure it isn’t one one one one?”

Again Santa said, “No, this is eleven eleven.”

“Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night.”

Santa replied, “That’s all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.”