Pak Jokes

A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients.” “And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching.” “No, we came to make sure he was dead.”

to get to Heaven

Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, “There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?” The doctor answers, “The Titanic” and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, “How many people died in that ship?” Fortunately the doctor had just watched the movie and he answers, “1 500!”. St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, “Name them!”.

Popes And Lawyers

Popes And Lawyers

Once a Pope and a lawyer died and they went to heaven. So God came and said, ‘Follow me and I will give you your rooms.’
So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room. It was very small with a small bed and a small desk.

‘Thank you, thank you my lord,’ said the Pope. Then God gave the lawyer his room, it was big room with a big bed and a big deck with a pool and pretty woman.

‘Mr.God, why do you give all this to me and just that small room to the Pope?’ ‘Well, popes, we have them by the dozens, and lawyers, well, your the first one.’

Night At The Barn

A lawyer and two friends–a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man–had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn.”

“No problem,” chimed the Rabbi. “My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening.” With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. “What’s wrong?” asked the farmer. He replied, “I am grateful to you, but I just can’t sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal.”
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. “What’s wrong?” the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, “I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can’t sleep on holy ground!”

That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer’s door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

My Daddy Is A Lawyer

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two five-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

“My name is Joshua. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.

“Adam,” replied the second.

“My daddy is a doctor. What does your daddy do for a living?” asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, “My daddy is a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Joshua.

“No, just the regular kind,” replied Adam.

kill the lawyer

whats the difference between a run over dog and a run over lawyer?

the dog has skid marks before it