Pak Jokes

MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?

CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

Munna : Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette ek tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.

Patient : Toh mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Ek patient Munna Bhai k paas aaya, Munna nay uss ka chek-up kiya aur bola

Munna : Tumharay pass ziyada waqt nahi hai
Patient : Meray pass kitna time hai.
Munna : Dus (10)
Patient : Kya Dus…. Minute….. Ghantay………. Din……?
Munna : No (9), Aath (, Saat (7),…….

Munna: Bolay to apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga.

Patient: Kyun???

Munna: Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.

Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Raat ka time jab Munna aur Chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.

Voice: Aray doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai.

Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.

Voice: Doctor Sahab! Aab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.

Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!

But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.

Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.

Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’

Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.

Give me two reasons why I should go to school.

Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

A good friend is one who tells you to study well…

But a best friend is one who stands outside the examination room and shouts

“Abbe kuch aa raha hai ya aur cheat fekuuuu…”

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?

PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER : No, that’s wrong

PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how “I” spell it!