Pak Jokes

A kilometre.

Teacher : Peter how do you define a kilometre ?
Peter: It’s easy sir even an infant could tell it.
Teacher : Then tell me.
Peter : Sir a kilometre is the distance in meters you can travel by carrying a load of a kilogram.

there was a lady and she had 3 children and one day 1 went up 2 her and said mummy why is my name rose, the lady answers ‘because i dropped a rose petal on u when u were born the next child says ‘why am i called daisy , the lady answers because i dropped a daisy on u when u were born , her next child says ‘asjkct7buitof75hj’ the lady says shut up fridge

Knock Knock Who’s their Orange Orange who Orange you glad i didn’t say banna.

Knock Knock Who’s their Orange Orange who Orange you glad i didn’t say banna.

The old adage that “It takes a thief to catch a thief” may indeed be true.
But these days there’s a 3rd thief involved pleading the case — the lawyer.

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

“Of course not, dear,” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?”

“The tombstone back there said…
‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ?You’re beautiful!? and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said ?You’re cute!? Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of ?beautiful? it was ?cute.? She said ?What happened to ?beautiful?? His reply was ?The drugs are wearing off!?

Catfish and Lawyers

What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One’s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

Engineering in Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”